Because everyone around Brett Favre(notes) loves the annual attention paid to the "will he or won't he?" game, the agent of the 41-year-old quarterback issued a loose denial of the all-time passing leader's interest in returning to football.
"Brett Favre's retired, that's all I can say," James "Bus" Cook told ESPN after a since-refuted report surfaced saying the Miami Dolphins were looking to bring back the legendary QB. "He's like Elvis now. People just won't let go."
People won't let it go? How about you won't give them a reason to let it go? So far as I know, Elvis and his people didn't cultivate the image that Elvis was alive every 12 months. I don't think Priscilla was out there winking and saying, "He's not living in Missoula, that's all I can say."
The Favre story is a story because nobody involved in Favre's camp is interested in giving it closure. Granted, even if Bus Cook came out and said, "He will never, ever, ever, ever return to the NFL, period," there'd still be a chance we'd hear Favre's name in this inglorious whispers for the next three offseasons. At least there would be a firm denial on record.
Maybe Favre is like Elvis, though. A few similarities:
1. Eats seven peanut butter and banana sandwiches before every game.
2. Shoots his television screen every time Aaron Rodgers(notes) appears.
3. Often begins picture messages with the opening lines to "Are You Lonesome Tonight?"
4. Will one day have Young Brett appear on a postage stamp instead of Old Brett.
5. Played so poorly last year because he was wearing a bejeweled, rhinestone jumpsuit under his uniform.